ARE MEN REALLY SCUM?

   

Few days ago, I read a post online about a girl accusing men of getting close to women solely for sexual gains. I was repulsed by this post as it was wrong on so many levels. Women are intellectual and sensitive beings, we have to ability to spot falsehood a mile away but many times we overlook them and pray that things will turn out the way we want them to. We can tell the intention of every man from the first conversation but we lie to ourselves and hope for the best, or hope we'd be the one to change him. This is fallacy!

As a young woman, I've been approached by a number of men in my life. I thought it was because I was talented, intelligent, and "fun." I deluded myself so much so that I got hurt too many times to count. It is what inspired me to start blogging; Heartbreak, being let down by someone I had imagined a future with is painful. So I reflected, I thought of what I was doing wrong, what I was saying wrong or what I wasn't doing. I realized I was deluding myself like everybody else, blaming the man for being so wicked, forgetting that I knew his intentions and went ahead anyway, hoping for the best. I could tell the fake ones from the real ones and sometimes I let go and went ahead with the fake because of the obvious “bad boy” exterior, then blamed and demonized him when he eventually hurt me.

In my opinion, we give men too much credit. Men are simple-minded. They don’t have complex theories like we do about everything. They want something and they go for it. If they want just sex, they pull all the stops to impress you, and once they get what they want, their ego is reinforced and they move on, leaving us women in a terrible state. It’s time we stood and our ground and put an end to this viscous cycle. If a guy wants just sex, you can tell, if he wants a relationship you can also tell. Why then will you sleep with a guy who you know deep down wants just sex and "hope," a relationship comes out of it? And when he disappoints you, you and your "girlfriends," gather round and say, "Men are scum!" It’s ludicrous!

Some women, go as far as chasing the guy, literally throwing themselves at the guys, when he finally agrees, they sleep with him and the next day, he does not  return their calls and again, they conclude and demonize him. Honey, you asked for it! You have to know that YOU have all the power before sex, once you give in, you hand it over to him. So be very sure of his intentions before letting go, rather than giving it out easily and demonizing him afterwards. It's time we took responsibility for our own actions.

Men aren't the problem, we are! We clearly don't know our self worth and are too desperate to fit into the norm of society we allow men that have no business talking to us into our panties. It’s time we reevaluate our choices, recognize that we are invaluable and start acting like it! Take back your place in the society. You are not destined to be subject to the man, you are your own woman. To all the strong women out there, I applaud you! Keep fighting, and remain AMAZING!

Get Up from your "Rock Bottom"!

Hello! 

I hope you all have been staying strong in every aspects of your lives. I realized today that when I started writing this blog it came from a place of pain. I created this avenue to vent without being judged by anyone and hopefully encourage someone else out there who might be going through something similar. 

I've been able to speak my mind and in it I found the encouragement and strength I needed at the time, ever since, I've been in a good place, been through a lot still but I stay winning. Looking back at where I was and where I am right now, I've definitely improved on the woman I am today. 
I've learnt to harness my pain and turn it into strength in the most productive ways possible.

My point is, when you feel low, downcast and alone like I did, embrace that feeling and put it to work in unique ways that only you can, write a song, or a poem, paint, draw, travel, read, explore, get out of your comfort zone, let it all come from deep within, you'd be shocked the healing you would get from it. 

It is very important to stay true to who you are because as I said before, nobody can be you neither can anyone ever be as unique and beautiful as you are, YES, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

I'm stronger today because I made a decision to move on from my "rock bottom"; you should too honey, no more ice cream and TV shows when you're sad, GET UP, go out there and do something fun! 


Mwaah!



xoxo

Love YOU first

“It gets lonely sometimes, I sit back and wonder if there’s something wrong with me or something I’m doing wrong, and each time I hit a brick wall as cannot fully understand why I am still single. I am old enough to be in a responsible relationship with the hope of settling down and starting a family but for some reason, the possibility of that is farther away from me each passing day. I often ask myself, where did I go wrong? Did I make a mistake when I was younger I am now paying for? Or is the universe just punishing me for no just cause? 

Finally, I resolved that the best thing to do I live while I wait for this man to show up. I decided to pick myself up from self pity and be the woman I can be with everything God has given me. I am going to find myself again, rediscover what I love doing and what makes me happy and just do them. I realized, I cannot sit here in self pity, depressed about my marital status any longer as it was making me age faster, wrinkles of worry and fear had formed on my face and I just saw them, how did I let myself get to this point of enormous unhappiness? I have so much to be grateful for and so much to live for and I allowed the fact that I am without a spouse rule me. No more, I am going to start focusing on me, love me, focus on the good things life has to offer, the solutions and not the problems(I may be single now but my prince charming is on his way), and no matter how lonely and quiet it gets, on a daily basis I will choose to be happy.”

Honey, do you feel this way sometimes? Do you get tired of the single status and just want a man to settle down and have kids with, I get you boo, he will come but before he does, live your life to the fullest, travel, try new things, explore the world in a responsible way, find yourself again, love yourself, get a new hobby, progress in your career, simply be you and be happy, and at the right time, he will show up.

xoxo

Victory Over Pain

"I am there in the morning, I'm there at night, I'm the first thing you feel when you get up in the morning. I take joy in seeing you cry and I get my strength from your weakness.
I get fatter when you give up, it is like food to my stomach when you cry yourself to sleep.
The days you thought of ending it all were my happiest days but I was disappointed when you started choosing not to. You have abandoned me now, the tears I derived joy from have been replaced with laughter, I am now miserable because you do not worry anymore. I am hungry because you've chosen to keep holding on. Why?! Why have you chosen to be a strong woman today, why have you forsaken me and chosen to be happy today? I no longer have room in your life, you have replaced me in your thoughts, I am now dying and soon I will be no more because you have moved on and you are happy now".
Signed- Pain.
                                                                                                                                           


This is what happens when you choose to be strong no matter what, to be hopeful even when you don't see any signs of things getting better, to be happy no matter what. It destroys every pain, fear, sadness in your life when you take a stand to not let them rule over you anymore.

Keep choosing to be happy today, make no room for sadness, fear and pain.
Stay blessed!


xoxo

SEASONS

Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, no matter how long it may last, each season ends; and another begins, it's an unending circle.

I use this to console myself when things get tough sometimes, I remain strong because I know it may seem like forever now but like every season, it too shall pass and I get my peace back.

Whatever you may be going through, be rest assured it too shall pass and a new season shall come so hold on and do not be dismayed, you will be just fine.




xoxo

Destined for Greatness

I may not be able to tell what the future holds right this minute but one thing I am sure of is I am destined for greatness and no matter how things get, I hold on to this. I will be great someday, I don't know when or how but I will be.

I have been through so much I could write a book but I wouldn't know where to start, there are so many stories and they were humbling processes that helped mold
me daily to be the woman I've been destined to be.


You have a destiny, do not shortchange yourself because you cannot see this so you don't ruin your tomorrow by giving up hope today. You will be great because you are destined for greatness!

Speak who and want to be and it will stand.


xoxo

The Love of God first

Recently, I finally realized something very important, and that is, "a man who does not have the love of God in him, cannot love you or himself, because he is incapable of love". 

Let me put it this way, God is love and with Him we learn how to love ourselves and when we love ourselves we are able to love the people around us, without Him, we simply cannot grasp the concept of love and therefore incapable loving ourselves or showing love. It all first starts with God, now if God is not in the picture, the source of love is absent and when the source of pure unadulterated love is not there, all that is left is lust and infatuation which is very easily confused with love.

So, if the man you’re in a relationship with does not have God his life, and does not have the love of God in his heart, I’m sorry but you’re wasting your time luv. He is incapable of loving you. Many of us girls stick around, believing that he will change, be nicer, more romantic, spontaneous, treat us like queens and all that, when we know deep down it is not possible. Only God can change a man, we can’t; and sitting around with a guy for years, unhappy in a loveless relationship giving your all to him will not make him love you because he does not have the love of God in him.

So darling, pick up your bags and move on. You have stayed with this man for years or maybe months, there is no sign of him popping the question, what are you waiting for? Or is he abusing you? And I don’t mean just physically, emotionally too, if he is, leave. Don’t wait around showing him love and expecting him to do the same because he does not have that ability until he turns to God.

If you do choose to stick around because your heart won’t just let go, then pray, pray and introduce him to the Alpha and the Omega, The beginning and the end, the I Am that I Am, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, bring him to Jesus, get down on your knees and pray that he turns to God so he can have Jesus as his Lord and Savior, then he gets the capacity to love you in sickness and in health.

Sweetheart, if by any chance the problem is you, and you do not have the ability to love today, the solution is pretty easy, give your life to Jesus today, He will teach you how to because He loves you very much.


xoxo