You will win the war

I wonder what I did that was so unforgivable that you completely shut me out. All I ever did was love you, a mistake I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. I thought you might be the one, deep down I knew you weren’t but more than anything I wanted it to be you, I wanted you to want me, to be loved, was that overstepping? I’ve never been good enough, just for once I wanted to be; I wanted you to look at me and see nothing else but me, I wanted to be more.

I get lonely sometimes, and I still hurt deeply, for years, this wound has not healed and I’ve tried, I’ve done everything to fill this hole within but nothing has worked. I know I can get through this, and the tears right now are proof of my humanity and a step forward towards redemption. I am not good now but I will be tomorrow. It will be slow and painful but I know but I am a strong independent woman and I will get through this. After all, what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. I am a fighter and I will continue to fight; I may have lost this battle but I will win this war.

More than anything, I have Jesus, and I know He loves me, even if it may be difficult because I can’t exactly see Him right now but I know He’s here with me. If you’re feeling down right now, ready to give up, don’t, the sun always rises no matter how dark the night gets and so will you. You will shine, brighter than you could possible imagine, you will win the war. :)

xoxo